A writer writes....right?

At times, especially when you're talking about her cold hands, you can get a little too descriptive. Remember, your readers aren't stupid, they know what cold feels like. Focus more on the voice. Keep practicing the active voice (a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_voice)" rel="nofollow"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_voic…/a as well as developing your style and you'll get a lot better, trust me.